remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You smell like stripper and shame
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
