Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
