That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
