apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
