She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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