u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
