yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
