My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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