Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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