Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize