I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
