So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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