What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
