I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
