I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
