SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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