First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize