As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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