She is in my trunk
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
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