Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
