I think I died a long time ago.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
