Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
