week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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