Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
false alarm. still invincible.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
