I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
