went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
operation harelip BJ is a go
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
