I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize