Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
