it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize