Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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