Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
