she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
