she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
