From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He better not be in your backpack
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
