So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
