About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
