i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
