turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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