new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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