even my farts smell like vagina
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
