He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It's never too late to be topless.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm having to shit out rocks
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