Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I could fuck to npr.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
