I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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