you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
