"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
