sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
