This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
