He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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