Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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