Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
