It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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