are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
