I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
