and next time when you feel me up, do it right
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
