What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
