Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just had sex on a roof
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
try to milk me bitch
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
